The Private EYE - Newsie Edition
Howdy folks, Derick here with another rousing blog-thing update. I'm doing alright and I'm still finding ways to keep busy. I'm in a Murder Myster @ Molly's this Wednesday and who knows what else....
So I've been given the task of writing a script for a short video here at TPS, and the theme was 1920s Cotton Club-esque fun. Here's the dish. It's mine so no use without my permission, see?
DETECTIVE NOIR in THE RETIREES FALCON
By Derick Snow
V/O
There I was out of the inky blackness inside my mind. My eyes opened and I felt the pounding of a thousand hammers on my head. My eyes blinked long and hard. I woke up, cold and alone, like a piece of TOFU in a BACON factory.
Of course I didn’t know what I was doing or who that dashingly handsome face in the mirror was.
I had been slipped a mickey, or minnie, or maybe Donald; but I was clueless. I needed a clue, not the kind with the candle stick and Professor Plum. Wait a minute! I know Professor Plum but not my own name? Who the heck am I?
Then, she came into my life.
This dame was really something. Big hat, bigger eyes and an even bigger…. story she stuffed down my dry gullet.
LADY
“My brother’s missing,”
V/O
She told me everything.
He was a “water” runner and got in trouble with Big Nick, or so she told me.
Detective (V/O to match his mouth)
“Who’s Big Nick”, I said?
LADY
“Are you crazy? You don’t know Big Nick? But I saw you guys together in the Newspaper just last week!”
DETECTIVE V/O (to match him grinning and nodding like a smug fella)
“Me in the paper?”
V/O
What, did I help a little old lady across the street and I got a key to the city?
DETECTIVE
“Maybe I am crazy ma’am, but Crazy is probably my middle name.”
“My first name is….uh…”
(Looks around his office, sees photo of HIMSELF)
V/O
I looked around the office I was sitting in, my head still spinning, but then I saw it. Detective Johnny School. Was that me? That handsome picture over the mantle, that glimmering, winning smile I could not recognize. I was me. But who was that?
Maybe finding this lady’s brother would help me find myself. What to do, what to do? Find a clue, find a clue. At the local Speakeasy, the Boo-boo Badoo.
DETECTIVE ( Close up, with a Mother Hubbard Book)
“I’ve gotta stop reading Old Mother Hubbard.”
V/O
As I came in, I knew I was in a place I didn’t want to be….
Footage of THE COTTON CLUB behind retirees in front of green screen
(Shot of retirees dancing to the different music….retirees are funny!
~retirees with:
One at a piano, playing to the music
Flappers, Dancers, etc doing fun dance moves, One may even sing SCAT (hideehideeho..).
Retiree is seen drinking from a flask; Smiles with a milk mustache.
“It’s milk!“
Dancing and music interlude continues,
V/O
So, The Boo-Boo Badoo was the kind of place your mother would leave you at if she didn’t love you anymore, the kind of place you’d visit if you wanted cement boots and a midnight swim in the Arkansas River. It was tough, but classy. Just like…these people.
(From behind, a retiree (BIG NICK), with a few henchmen and maybe a few flapper girls)
BIG NICK
“Detective! Long time no see! I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight! Or any night. Get him, boys!”
GUNSHOTS
(retirees with a Tommy gun?!)
V/O
That was my exit music. I ran for the door but it was blocked by a brick wall named Thor. I was trapped like a Pig in a blanket. They had my number. So I did what anyone with a Badge in my circumstances would do. I passed out. I played possum, waiting for the right time to escape.
(in a dark place, close up of Detective’s face, still laying down, slow zoom out to find him in a striped outfit)
Trouble is, I wasn’t very good at games and woke up in a Jail Cell. The good news was I just saved 20% on my car insurance, but that was no good to me here.
SHOTS OF RETIREES IN STRIPED OUTFITS
Little vignettes:
~Retirees running cups up and down prison bars
~”I’m Innocent!”
Other inmate, “yea right”
~What are you in here for?
Me? I robbed three banks.
Me? I stole twenty cars.
Me? I worked THIRTY years in Tulsa Public Schools.
Everyone, “WOW!” Sorry, man!
LOTS OF RETIREES HERE, little banter, growls, etc.
(Detective leaning back and relaxing in his cell, MEDIUM SHOT)
DETECTIVE
“In ten to twenty, I’ll figure out my next case. Until then, I’ll enjoy a nice, needed vacation…”
THE END
--------------------
Have a good one, friends.
So I've been given the task of writing a script for a short video here at TPS, and the theme was 1920s Cotton Club-esque fun. Here's the dish. It's mine so no use without my permission, see?
DETECTIVE NOIR in THE RETIREES FALCON
By Derick Snow
V/O
There I was out of the inky blackness inside my mind. My eyes opened and I felt the pounding of a thousand hammers on my head. My eyes blinked long and hard. I woke up, cold and alone, like a piece of TOFU in a BACON factory.
Of course I didn’t know what I was doing or who that dashingly handsome face in the mirror was.
I had been slipped a mickey, or minnie, or maybe Donald; but I was clueless. I needed a clue, not the kind with the candle stick and Professor Plum. Wait a minute! I know Professor Plum but not my own name? Who the heck am I?
Then, she came into my life.
This dame was really something. Big hat, bigger eyes and an even bigger…. story she stuffed down my dry gullet.
LADY
“My brother’s missing,”
V/O
She told me everything.
He was a “water” runner and got in trouble with Big Nick, or so she told me.
Detective (V/O to match his mouth)
“Who’s Big Nick”, I said?
LADY
“Are you crazy? You don’t know Big Nick? But I saw you guys together in the Newspaper just last week!”
DETECTIVE V/O (to match him grinning and nodding like a smug fella)
“Me in the paper?”
V/O
What, did I help a little old lady across the street and I got a key to the city?
DETECTIVE
“Maybe I am crazy ma’am, but Crazy is probably my middle name.”
“My first name is….uh…”
(Looks around his office, sees photo of HIMSELF)
V/O
I looked around the office I was sitting in, my head still spinning, but then I saw it. Detective Johnny School. Was that me? That handsome picture over the mantle, that glimmering, winning smile I could not recognize. I was me. But who was that?
Maybe finding this lady’s brother would help me find myself. What to do, what to do? Find a clue, find a clue. At the local Speakeasy, the Boo-boo Badoo.
DETECTIVE ( Close up, with a Mother Hubbard Book)
“I’ve gotta stop reading Old Mother Hubbard.”
V/O
As I came in, I knew I was in a place I didn’t want to be….
Footage of THE COTTON CLUB behind retirees in front of green screen
(Shot of retirees dancing to the different music….retirees are funny!
~retirees with:
One at a piano, playing to the music
Flappers, Dancers, etc doing fun dance moves, One may even sing SCAT (hideehideeho..).
Retiree is seen drinking from a flask; Smiles with a milk mustache.
“It’s milk!“
Dancing and music interlude continues,
V/O
So, The Boo-Boo Badoo was the kind of place your mother would leave you at if she didn’t love you anymore, the kind of place you’d visit if you wanted cement boots and a midnight swim in the Arkansas River. It was tough, but classy. Just like…these people.
(From behind, a retiree (BIG NICK), with a few henchmen and maybe a few flapper girls)
BIG NICK
“Detective! Long time no see! I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight! Or any night. Get him, boys!”
GUNSHOTS
(retirees with a Tommy gun?!)
V/O
That was my exit music. I ran for the door but it was blocked by a brick wall named Thor. I was trapped like a Pig in a blanket. They had my number. So I did what anyone with a Badge in my circumstances would do. I passed out. I played possum, waiting for the right time to escape.
(in a dark place, close up of Detective’s face, still laying down, slow zoom out to find him in a striped outfit)
Trouble is, I wasn’t very good at games and woke up in a Jail Cell. The good news was I just saved 20% on my car insurance, but that was no good to me here.
SHOTS OF RETIREES IN STRIPED OUTFITS
Little vignettes:
~Retirees running cups up and down prison bars
~”I’m Innocent!”
Other inmate, “yea right”
~What are you in here for?
Me? I robbed three banks.
Me? I stole twenty cars.
Me? I worked THIRTY years in Tulsa Public Schools.
Everyone, “WOW!” Sorry, man!
LOTS OF RETIREES HERE, little banter, growls, etc.
(Detective leaning back and relaxing in his cell, MEDIUM SHOT)
DETECTIVE
“In ten to twenty, I’ll figure out my next case. Until then, I’ll enjoy a nice, needed vacation…”
THE END
--------------------
Have a good one, friends.
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