A Wacky Night with the TPD

Derick back, I just got home, around 3 or so in the morning...

I am wacky, and here's proof!

I got out of my girlfriend's house last night around midnight, but got real sleepy and fell asleep in a local 24-hour Wal-Mart parking lot (it's legal, just ask them!), where I had a dream about Christopher Walkin (you know him, right?). In it, I threw his clothes in a bush and preceded to run from him in fear of retribution. There was more smaller stuff about my mom taking driving lessons in random parts of Tulsa, and me next to a carnival or something or other...

Then I woke up around two in the Wal-Butt lot, with a stiff neck and a weird sensation, as if I didn't get enough air. So off to Quik Trip I went to get a coffee and freshen up a bit. Then I drove home listening to A.M. Coast-To-Coast.

Recently, both of my headlights went out, but only one setting died, so the brights still work. So I used those on my way home. I have to drive by some low-income housing on my way to my house, so that of course means that there are lots of cops waiting around to hassle the poor folks, and yessir, I got pulled over by one of these arrogant dudes. Pulled me over for the brights.

I find it works best if you are completely serious and gracious when you mock those who are just picking on citizens in the area. I actually had been pulled over by this one fellow before and I recognized him as one who was just looking for something to ticket. In fact he said at that time I was swerving just as an excuse to pull me over, which I happily argued and forced his hand, asking if it was alright If I videotaped him with my news camera while he said what I did...From my observations he always uses baseless threats to handle his own inadequacies.

Now I've been hassled sooo many times I have to keep myself occupied, so I pretended I was hard of hearing out of my left ear. It's much more entertaining when someone so into themselves has to repeat their manly speeches over and over again. So I played with him, taking note of his angry eyes and wasteful temper.

(with a lot of vengeful authority) "Driver's License and Insurance Verification."
"What? I'm afraid I can't hear out of my left ear, could you repeat that?"
(His eyes open wide) "Driver's License and.."
"Driver's License?"
"There you go, officer...anything else?"
(he's quite angry about this) "Insurance Verification, sir"
"Oh yes! Sorry 'bout that! Let me see, it's around here somewhere...ah here we are!"
(poop faced grin)"Sir this is expired. If you don't have--"
"What? I can't hear what you just said."
"This is expired sir."
"Oh my apologies! Let me see! Oh yes sir, I have the right one in here!"
*rifling through my glove box for a few minutes, tee hee*
"There you go, officer!"

I can't even count the number of times I've been pulled over here in town and never getting a ticket. Eight? Ten? I simply know it's been a lot. These cops are just silly around here. And I think it's not right that all they ever do is hang around lower-income apartments waiting to find one without insurance. Profiling much? Grr.

Once I was pulled over by a two cop duo around 81st and memorial, who were both giving me such poop-faced grins, convinced I was drunk of all things. I don't ever get drunk. Oh my how I played with them. Suffice it to say, I actually have a good time when I'm pulled over here in Tulsa now, seeing how it's re-damned-diculous how often this happens to me simply because my car is not a Two-thousand-four Dodge Stratus. Silly toads.

I love law and order and I deeply want to have respect for our law-enforcement agencies. But come-on. Our Tulsa PD is so full of themselves and respect no one. And I fit the profile of young deviant or something and I'm tired of being hassled. Seriously folks, I drive like an old lady. Slow, but perfectly without fault. I use my signals, I wear my seatbelt at all times, I have my hands at ten and two, ect. so it's not my driving that causes so much silliness from the TPD. In LA at least they were courteous when I was profiled and released for driving an older car :)

My favorite police force by far is in Arizona. My car had fan belt trouble and this nice human being talked with us for a good twenty minutes, and even offered that we could park our car and spend the night under the stars if we wanted. I shook his hand for being so personable, and he even joked with Jes and myself!. From McCain to that nice officer, I think Arizona is alright in my book! Give respect, get respect I always say.

Anyway, that's my rant, I'm going back to sleep, hopefully with more Christopher Walken and cowbells ringing in my head.

I'll write again! -Derick