The New Car Saga, Part One

The new car
Originally uploaded by studiosound.

This is my new car...new to me!

It's a 1988 Nissan Maxima, and it's an incredible car.

I bought it at an auto autction, one of the most gut-wrenching things you can possibly go through. With a flick of the wrist, you've just commited bunches of money to a car you can't even drive until you've bought it!

I had gone to one other auction on Tuesday, the one on Admiral and Memorial. When I went in, I had to put up $200 as a deposit and sign a few things. Not so bad. Then I approached the auction garages. As I came inside, I heard the auctioneers, or rather heard the jibber-jabber sounds their orfices belted out. Thousand-hummana-hummana-canigettahummunahummuna. I got worried. Am I going to understand any of this crap? Will I accidentally buy a hummanahummana with a sratch of my nose? Fortunately, like any deep immersion, I began to understand the rich, complex language before me. I ended up making one bid, but at the end it didn't meet the mandatory minimum...which was a good thing! The vehicle was ok and all, but I had a true destiny.

The main reason for visiting the auction was that I needed a replacement for my little Pepe, the Snowmobile 2. Time and travel had finally cought up with it. For the last month, it had started backfiring violently! And it wouldn't idle at all. Bad carborator and timing issues. I got an estimate that it would cost over $300 to get it fixed. I thought about that. The seats don't recline; I had to unbolt the seats when Jes and I wanted to sleep on our six month road trip. The muffler was a shambles; everyone in every neighborhood around town waking was up and cursing the heavens on my approach. Thanks to other problems, I was pulling less than ten miles per gallon! In that tiny little dust kicker! The straw that broke me was when I ran out of gas after going 147 miles from a FULL tank. My stress levels had been in heaven ever since, which isn't a good thing. I decided I needed something better.

The car I ended up getting...
On the Tuesday auction I saw the car I would be buying the next Saturday in Sapulpa. I had an interest in it, but other bidders had taken it over a thousand dollars, which didn't meet the minimum bid for the seller that day. Lucky me! I only had $750 for buying, by the way.

The next Saturday, I went down to the auction in Mom's car with Jes. Howard met up with us. We scanned around the lot, and saw some options. I was looking for a very fuel-efficient car with no big problems. I didn't want any kind of knock and I wanted the windows to work. Or an American car. Fords and Chevys can go to those other Dale Earnhardt fans...I kid! God bless you, Dale Earnhardt.

The Nissan wasn't actually anywhere on the lot earlier in the day. It was a late arrival, one of the last vehicles for the day. Also before the car was up for bid, two big-old trucks had left plumes of exhaust in the building. Nearly everyone had left. So the car comes inside and the hummanahummaner starts up with the bidding at $1500. 'No takers. No one at all. 1000. OK I'll start low at $400...'

I realize how stupid I'd be if I didn't bid on a car that good and that cheap. I look at Howard and say, 'Should I bid on this?'

This is the moment of no return. I raise up my hand, with a four showing.

'$400 hummana-can I get a five-hummana? Five hundred! Hummanahummana-Can I get Six?' I look over to my right and see a large man with a large-er beard. Bidding on MY car!

But still, I play it cool. In my mind, everything has slowed down. I'm John Woo. A dove flies very slowly somewhere.

I raise my fingers in an inch sign. A man to my right yells 'Hap!'

'Five fifty hummana hummana can I get a six hummana hummana? Six hummana! Can I get a seven!?'

We're going too rich for my blood. I don't think I'll take that. I shake my head. But I keep my eyes on the fellow to 'hop' guy moments ago. The auctioneer starts up at me. 'Do I get a six fifty hummana hummana? It's got new tires hummana? Six twenty-five? Come on! You started it!'

I did indeed. I put my fingers on my chin, taking a dramatic pause. All eyes on me. I feel like the big guy with the beard will probably outbid me, so I take the chance.

I nod.

'Six Twenty-fivehummana hummana....!'

For just a moment my mind goies away from the spot I'm standing in. I hear words and all the people are swirling around me. I actually am not prepared to bid anymore, so I look at the bearded guy and waggle my head at him, smiling a big grin. I feel like he outbid me, and I've lost. I begin to turn and walk away, defeated. I'm crazy. In all the swirling sounds, the auctioneer has sold me the Nissan Maxima, no minumim bid. No big guy with the big beard. Just me and my car!

Howard is the one that wakes me out of my stupor, and walks me over to the staging area where the hummanahummana voice came from. I look for Jes and I sign the papers and we walk over to the office, all together and in shock. I can't believe what I've done. I lowballed and won! Haha. Hahahaha! King of the world!

I give the rest of the money for the car, sign some more papers and we start up the car. Starts purrrrrfectly. Sunroof. Windows. It all works!

I drive it off the lot.

I started it up beforehand on Saturday, and it ran nice. After buying it for a SUPER cheap $625, I learned that it was in great condition. Power everything, sunroof, lighted keyhole, cruise control, alloy wheels, spoiler, ect., ect.

Elsewhere in my photos you'll find the 'ole car I am replacing, a 1977 Toyota Corona. It was a fine car, which took me to Florida all the way to the other side of the coast to LA and much further. Alas, it was dying. This is the successor. All hail the Snowmobile the Third!

I have even more to tell you, but I'll let your eyes have a rest. Until next time, look for me on the road in my Gran Tourismo car!